tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-116589132024-03-08T02:56:36.167-06:00The Blair IdentityTaking the good with the bad since 2005Sarah Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14674223065923494483noreply@blogger.comBlogger47125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11658913.post-70860852608441688872006-12-21T15:01:00.000-06:002006-12-21T15:07:18.912-06:0032 BelowSo I made it to the third bar last night before I figured out that I had left my wallet, including my ID, on my kitchen table. The blonde server who was at least a decade younger than me kindly asked me to leave. At least I felt young again for a fleeting second. Because our babysitter is a high school student who had class this morning, I gave it up at that moment and we just called it a night. It was 9:03 p.m. But I had enjoyed a few rounds of yummy cocktails, a great dinner and a once-in-a-lifetime chocolate custard pie already, so I was ok with it.<br /><br />And now I can tell everyone that I got kicked out of a bar and they'll assume I'm some kind of bad ass. It's always good to be vague.Sarah Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14674223065923494483noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11658913.post-1166645961318535892006-12-20T14:10:00.000-06:002006-12-20T14:19:21.326-06:00Shameless PlugHappy Birthday to ME!<br /><br />I'm not doing anything even remotely birthday-like today, except being a slacker. But that's kinda an everyday thing. <br /><br />Canon cleaned out our home office that for more than a year (ever since we got a real, professional studio) was just collecting junk. So now I have an official craft room with two countertops for beading and sewing. I plan to move my wrapping supplies down there next. For my birthday Em got me a TV for down there, and it's like my own little piece of heaven! Now I just have to paint over the hideous blue-green walls.<br /><br />So, um, yeah, exciting storyl. Tune in next week for more adventures in, ah, my exciting life.Sarah Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14674223065923494483noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11658913.post-1165443110762872012006-12-06T16:01:00.000-06:002006-12-06T16:11:50.860-06:00Hello Boys & GirlsNovember is over? How did that happen so soon? <br /><br />Well, I stunk up the NaBloPoMo but at least I posted more than in past months, so, um, go me!<br /><br />It's hot in here. That's what happens when you crank up your space heater and close your office door. What? Did you hear that? I said 'close your office door.' It makes me so happy to be able to say that. Rosy cheeks and sweaty palms a happy employee make. At least in my case.<br /><br />It's Dec. 8 and I just crossed three more names off my shopping list. I'm practically giddy! The shopping/gifting is going well so far this year. The decorating is done, with help from Em, which means she takes the ornaments off the tree and rearranges them every night. That's ok though. It's actually the dogs who have broken the most ornaments this year. I don't plan on a lot of baking, but I do plan on Christmas cards, and that certainly isn't done.<br /><br />I'm also trying to get to the gym at least 3 days a week. With all the company and travelling we're doing, that's a steep goal, but I'm set on it. Maybe it's all the 'me time' that's helping me deal so well with the holiday stress this year. <br /><br />Speaking of working out, I ran the Turkey Day 5K! Woooooot! It was really fun, thanks to my co-runners (shout-outs to the Shes Who Shall Not Be Named!) and the great weather. I definitely plan on doing that again.<br /><br />So, erm, what's on your wish list?<br /><br />I'm big into the relaxation this year... I want some massage gift cards and a weighted hula-hoop just like the ones at my gym. My biggest wish is for Canon to turn our old home office into a craft room for me, and you know what? I haven't told him that yet. I think I will right now.Sarah Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14674223065923494483noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11658913.post-1164084440922766182006-11-20T22:41:00.000-06:002006-11-20T22:47:20.936-06:00In other news, I suckApparently being sick gives me license to ignore the "post every day" rule. <br /><br />ahem.<br /><br />I'm trying to think of anything worth posting. I've been trying to do that for a week now. It's kind of like in college, where our columnsts would write the obligatory "writing about having nothing to write about" column. It pissed me off then, and it pisses me off now.<br /><br />Sorry for wasting your time.<br /><br />Ummmm, I finally committed to running a Turkey Day 5K, so if it doesn't kill me I'll be eating whatever I please for dinner and not feeling guilty about it. It's not actually the running part that scares me. It's the getting-up-at-the-ass-crack-of-dawn part that I'm not looking forward to.<br /><br />Tonight I baked a second batch of " 'nacks" as Em calls them, to take with us for the holiday. I also bought all the ingredients to a fabulous roll-up appetizer that I'll throw together tomorrow morning. Then Wednesday, it's off to the in-laws for a well-earned vacation. I can't wait.Sarah Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14674223065923494483noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11658913.post-1163526814898433462006-11-14T11:41:00.000-06:002006-11-14T13:27:18.683-06:00Murffle glerk horkDon't get the flu.<br /><br />I had it. Or maybe I still do. But at least I have it less than I had it over the weekend. What is it about being sick that just makes you want your mommy? I can tell you the opposite... being a mommy while sick is hell on earth. Man. You don't realize exactly how much you do for that lovable little leech until it physically pains you to do it. And that's with all the things she can do on her own. I guess she's not as independent as I was thinking she was.<br /><br />Back when we were new (new together, at least) Canon was a pretty doting caregiver when I was sick. Maybe it's just familiarity or stress or the impossibility of being Mommy and Daddy and Nurse and Businessman all at once that overwhelms him. He did the best he could. He did a lot. I still wanted my mommy.<br /><br />But now that I'm starting to feel better, I mostly just want a maid.Sarah Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14674223065923494483noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11658913.post-1163309827666206372006-11-11T23:32:00.000-06:002006-11-11T23:37:07.680-06:00ahermwell. I suck at the posting every day. Wow has stuff been happening. <br /><br />My cousin got married today. My parents are here. Drama has ensued. <br /><br />But I'm running through it. I even woke up before 8:30 and ran this morning. Whooo!Sarah Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14674223065923494483noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11658913.post-1163021172032020092006-11-08T15:15:00.000-06:002006-11-08T15:26:12.043-06:00I (heart) SD. Mostly.Today I am proud to be from South Dakoka. <br /><br />Ok, I'm always proud to be a SoDak daughter, but today the voters have made my heart sing. (No, I don't live there anymore.) I was so afraid they'd pass the controversial abortion ban... the one that wanted to give doctors 5 years in prision for doing their jobs, while elevating the life (nevermind the health standards they'd force upon some of those babies) of the fetus over the health of the mother at all times. Until she's on death's doorstep, and then, hmmm, better think hard, Doctor.<br /><br />Proponents of the bill wanted to use SD as an example, to take this law all the way up that long marble stairway of the law in Washington, D.C. They dreamed of using it to overturn Roe v. Wade. <br /><br />But my peeps stood up for themselves, for their fellow mothers, and for their own human rights. Good for them. <br /><br />Now if only they'd rejected that stupid constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. There's still work to do. But I'm so glad those annoying ads are over.<br /><br />Oh, and Democrats and Republicans? STOP CALLING ME. I was going to vote before you each called me 4 times to remind me. Instead, you almost convinced me NOT TO.Sarah Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14674223065923494483noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11658913.post-1162946156738012552006-11-07T18:18:00.000-06:002006-11-07T18:36:19.800-06:00Election FrenzyI like election day. And I'm especially glad I don't have to cover them anymore. <br /><br />There was a bat in our house last night. The third one since the spring. Looks like it's time to have that checked out. It's not so much the bats being in the house that bothers me (although that is troubling enough) but how the hell are they getting in? First there's a bird nest in my dryer vent and now bats. I hate projects that require effort.<br /><br />I am Runner Hear Me Roar: my mile today was somewhere in the 13 range... but I didn't feel like death warmed over when I stepped off the treadmill, either. <br /><br />Oh, hey, can someone overdose on dairy products? It seems all my little girl wants to eat these days is yogurt and cheese. Today she asked for that for breakfast and supper.Sarah Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14674223065923494483noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11658913.post-1162836400037034792006-11-06T12:00:00.000-06:002006-11-06T12:06:40.050-06:00#@%&!I forgot to post yesterday! How the hell did that happen? Hmmm, wonder if that means I'm kicked out of the NaBloPoMo thingy?<br /><br />It was a gorgeous day here yesterday... we took the dogs and the little girl out to the Puppy Park... and it was such a hit that I was requested to include 'Puppy Park' in a verse of the Goodnight Song.<br /><br />It was kind of nice to have a day off from exercising, but I was really excited to get back at it today. <br /><br />I am runner, hear me roar: my new mile time is 12:57. HA! Take that, you effing gut! I'm shaving time off so fast I'm making myself sick. So I don't think I'll be running at that pace again. At least, not anytime soon.<br /><br />Excitement of the day: New tires on my car. Good thing I'm going to the gym. Maybe I won't feel it as bad when they sock me in the gut with a huge price tag. Doubt it, though.Sarah Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14674223065923494483noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11658913.post-1162677473871613812006-11-04T15:53:00.000-06:002006-11-04T15:57:53.883-06:00Saturday Blog LiveI ran a mile again this morning... and I even shaved 7 seconds off my time. It's still 13:13, but it's down!<br /><br />And it's Saturday, and I woke up before 8 a.m. and went running. <br /><br />What the hell is wrong with me?Sarah Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14674223065923494483noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11658913.post-1162592299190682252006-11-03T16:12:00.001-06:002006-11-03T16:21:40.033-06:00Mile Marker 1I totally ran a whole mile today! And it didn't kill me. And I felt good afterward. And it only took 13:20.<br /><br />Plus, I did 500 steps on the stairmaster before I ran. I feel so good. And it even paid off: After all the Halloween Chocolate, I still lost 2 tenths of a pound. Not great, but not a gain!<br /><br />I got a lot of detail-y things out of the way today. I'm so ready for the weekend. Bring it!Sarah Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14674223065923494483noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11658913.post-1162507697632908022006-11-02T16:43:00.000-06:002006-11-02T16:48:17.646-06:00Day 2It's the second day of the challenge and already I'm stumped! Those of you who are bored, bail out now, please.<br /><br />Last night was Parents' Night at baby gymnastics. Em was her exuberant self during the evening. So proud that here Papa was there watching her. At the end, all the kids had to go stand on "stage" (a folded up gym mat) and do a big Ta-Dah! in front of the whole class. When they called Em's name, she went up there and before she even got on the stage, she straightened out the two footprints they were supposed to stand on. When everything was just so, she stood up and Ta-Dahed.<br /><br />She gets this from her father.<br /><br />Also, this morning, I was dresssed in pajama pants to go to the gym, and she comes out of my closet with a business-style button up shirt, insisting that I wear it. The babysitter enjoyed it, as well as the women at the gym. And yes, I did bring a T-shirt to change into.<br /><br />I also put the button-up back on when I dressed for the day.<br /><br />Tomorrow:<br />An update of the first non-family-non-acquaintance babysitting session.Sarah Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14674223065923494483noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11658913.post-1162404418791434922006-11-01T12:04:00.000-06:002006-11-01T12:06:58.810-06:00AftermathI think I ate half a jumbo bag of Kit-Kats yesterday. I was hoping to take my love affair to new heights, to that point where you get so much of a good thing that you start to resent it. Or else it just makes you sick.<br /><br />But I never did. Before I got the chance to find out that the chocolatey goodness isn't as good coming back up as it was going down, my husband snatched the remaining bars and marched them to the trashcan in the garage.<br /><br />Sigh.<br /><br />The addiction has not been broken.Sarah Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14674223065923494483noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11658913.post-1162322964872615522006-10-31T13:28:00.000-06:002006-10-31T13:29:24.890-06:00Ode to ChocolateYou are why I spend an hour <br />at the gym<br />everyday.<br /><br />And also the reason why<br />the scale<br />never goes down.<br /><br />And yet, I still <br />LOVE<br />you.<br /><br />Happy Halloween.Sarah Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14674223065923494483noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11658913.post-1161743761408462542006-10-24T21:32:00.000-05:002006-10-24T21:36:01.423-05:00Cable's OutDamn. <br /><br />I knew I watched a lot of TV but I never really think about it until it's not there. I TiVo'ed Gilmore Girls tonight and only ended up with about 3 minutes worth of the show. Just enough to confuse me. <br /><br />Thank God for <a href="http://www.itunes.com/">iTunes</a> and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/">YouTube</a>. And also <a href="http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/">Television Without Pity.</a>Sarah Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14674223065923494483noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11658913.post-1161635829412614222006-10-23T15:32:00.000-05:002006-10-23T15:37:09.426-05:00Project DoubleupI'm not a quitter. A procrastinator, yes, but not a quitter.<br /><br />Ok, so I quit my job. But that was really a victory, not a defeat. And even though it's neglected, I didn't quit the blog. It just went on a reallllllly long unexpected hiatus.<br /><br />The dashboard says I've made only 31 posts. Come November and the NaBloPoMo, I aim to change that number to 62. I guess that means posting on Thanksgiving, doesn't it?<br /><br />So what's new?<br /><br />I run now. Not fast, not far, but I'm a runner. Joined a gym and everything. I run 5 times a week, and dammit, I'm going to run a 5K next spring. <br /><br />No quitting allowed.Sarah Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14674223065923494483noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11658913.post-1161380070949965052006-10-20T16:33:00.000-05:002006-10-20T16:34:30.966-05:00I will persist until I succeedThat about sums it up. <br /><br />I'm taking the NaBloPoMo challenge.<br /><br />See you in November.Sarah Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14674223065923494483noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11658913.post-1152240252267384852006-07-06T21:32:00.000-05:002006-07-06T21:44:12.276-05:00IndependenceWell.<br /><br />I'm back. And everything has changed. That job I volunteered to pull my teeth out for? It didn't happen. I never even got called for an interview. That was really the first link in a fateful chain of events, so looking back, I'm glad it didn't happen. But in February I was devastated over it.<br /><br />Then the new director arrived at work. He immediately clashed with almost everyone. My job got expanded, with no hope of a raise, or even a bonus, in sight. (In fact, they ended up replacing me with two people. Two!) I had a few heart-to-hearts with myself, my best friend at work, and my husband, and decided it was time for a change.<br /><br />So as of July 1, I'm self-employed! Or unemployed, as Canon enjoys reminding me. I'm going to work for his company, which on paper, I own half of, so yeah. But technically, I've got a LOT to learn.<br /><br />And I can't wait.<br /><br />For now, it still feels like I'm on vacation. The best kind of vacation, where I can sleep in until 8:30 and there is no 'Sunday night stress' blahs. For one thing, Em's been home with me because her babysitter is on vacation, so I haven't had a chance to start working in earnest. But that will happen soon enough.<br /><br />For now, I'm just enjoying the fact that I can stay up as late as I want on a school night, and I'm in charge of my own schedule. I couldn't have done any of it without the support of my awesome husband. <br /><br />I'm the luckiest woman in the world right now. Of that I'm sure.Sarah Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14674223065923494483noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11658913.post-1140052739212377642006-02-15T19:15:00.000-06:002006-02-15T19:21:22.603-06:00Stark and MagnificentStark? Yes. Magnificent? Well, not as much as I’d hoped. My New Year’s resolution was to blog more, and like <s>most</s> all of my past resolutions, this one died a quick death sometime in mid-January. Anyway, I saw that phrase describing something today. Stark and magnificent. And I liked it. Maybe I should change the name of my blog. Or maybe not. That’s a lot to live up to for someone who blogs 15 times a year.<br /> <br />Random:<br />When did they start putting symbols on candy hearts? That’s just so wrong. I want a candy heart, not a text message. Keep the Sweethearts vintage!<br /> <br />We had a great Valentine’s Day yesterday. A little romance in the morning, a little gourmet in the evening. Factor in the toddler that said “Hi, Grand-papa!” into the phone last night, and this adds up to the best Valentine’s Day I’ve ever had. I’ve won revenge over the holiday that used to torture me, and damn, it feels good. Oh, for the record, chef Canon made artichoke bruschetta, asparagus marinated in wine sauce and salmon with lemon and rosemary. Just for me! I have bookmarked this page for future reference and he’ll get a pass the next few times I’m mad at him. He’s earned it.<br /> <br />In other news, I’ve applied for a job that I really, really want. I promised myself that I wouldn’t tell anybody about it, but yeah, right. I just can’t keep my mouth shut when it comes to this stuff. It’d be a nice pay raise, but I’d do it for no raise. Really, the company has that great of a reputation. I’d flip to work there. I’d grovel to work there. I’d pull out a tooth to work there. I met with the recruiter, who loved my resume and cover letter, but it’s been 5 days now and I haven’t heard anything from the company, and my stomach is in knots. I’ve been taking sleeping pills for the last two nights. Me, the woman who can fall asleep on command. Last night I lay in bed, feeling drowsier and drowsier while my heart raced. It was eerie. Really, it’s dangerous to want something so much.<br /> <br />Because I’m a realist (Canon prefers the term “pessimist”) I’ve considered the worst-case scenario. There are lots of great things coming up at my job. We’re either remodeling or moving offices, (fingers crossed – Mama needs a window!). I’m involved in the development of a major new project. And I’ve got two smaller-term new projects to work on in the next few months. In two weeks I’ll celebrate my 7th anniversary there. I never thought THAT would happen. I’m comfortable there. I work with great people. And we’re getting a new director, which could be really great (or not, but now’s not the time, yadda, yadda). So, there is a lot to look forward to.<br /> <br />It’s still making me crazy. And it's completely draining.<br /> <br />So right now I feel stark, with the possibility of magnificent.Sarah Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14674223065923494483noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11658913.post-1137469731816638422006-01-16T21:09:00.000-06:002006-01-16T21:48:51.830-06:00Towanda!So I'm sitting here watching the Globes and the car insurance commercial with the clip from Fried Green Tomatoes on it. "Face it girls. I'm older and I have more insurance." That reminds me of how much I LOVE that movie. <br /><br />An acquaintance once told me that I looked like Mary Louise Parker in that movie and it was one of the best compliments I've ever recieved. Totally off the mark, but still flattering.<br /><br />So as long as I've got movies on the brain, I thought I'd share some of my chick flick favorites with you. Keep in mind I have a toddler and I've only seen like, two movies in the theater in the last 18 months. So, I watch DVDs and HBO, when I can. I won't even mention all the films that are still on my Must See list. So in that spirit, here is a short list of chick flicks that I will drop everything to watch if I notice them on TV.<br /><br />The list (in no particular order):<br /><br />Fried Green Tomatoes<br />50 First Dates<br />Legally Blonde<br />The Royal Tennenbaums<br />The Wedding Singer<br />Love Actually<br />Beaches<br />The Man in the Moon<br />Steel Magnolias<br /><br />So that's what makes me laugh, and cry and laugh and cry at the same time. Like Ninny Threadgoode says, "A heart can be broken, but it'll keep beating just the same." Or, as Truvy put it, "Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion."Sarah Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14674223065923494483noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11658913.post-1136866691997585672006-01-09T21:41:00.000-06:002006-01-09T22:18:12.023-06:00I'm smart. S-M-R-T!Tonight I was lucky enough to teach two important things to two important people in my life. <br /><br />At dinner tonight Em tasted her first popcorn, and discovered Heaven on Earth. In this house we are popcorn addicts. Caramel corn, cheezy corn, kettle corn, smooth buttery popcorn. Bring it on. I've never met a kernel I didn't like. Even the dogs are in on the game.<br /><br />A little later I got the priviledge of explaining <A href="http://autostart.ca/">AutoStart</A> to <A href="http://ladygrey.typepad.com/fish_out_of_water/">Elise</A>, who had never heard of it. AutoStart is a little sumptin sumptin that helps us Northerners get through Hell on Earth, er, winter.<br /><br />And then, AND THEN, I managed to teach myself how to do links. I know, this should not be enough to get me all hot and bothered, but it so totally is. I am a geek at heart.Sarah Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14674223065923494483noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11658913.post-1136344644721419992006-01-03T20:47:00.000-06:002006-01-03T21:17:24.736-06:00Pennies from HeavenSo on our day off Monday we decided we needed to get out of the house. More importantly, we needed to get the baby out of the house. We figured the mall - with its endless sidewalks and dinosaur playland - would be the perfect spot. <br /><br />After we spent some time exchanging germs with dozens of sniffling toddlers and a Brontosaurus cast in a strangely unnatural soft-plastic pose, we took off. Em made a beeline toward the rubber duckies at Bath & Body Works. In order to distract her, we turned her toward the fountain. She marched straight up to two little old grannies who were deep in conversation, looked straight up at them and said, "Hi." Then she stood there and stared up at them. Of course they thought she was adorable, because they were SMART little old grannies. And if anyone can recognize adorable, it's a granny.<br /><br />Canon found some pennies and we showed Em how to pitch them into the fountain. We cheered with each tiny splash, and then spent some time looking at the glittering wishes that lined the bottom of the reflecting pool. Just as we were leaving, one of the grannies walked up to us to tell us how much she enjoyed Em, and asked what her name was. When we told her Em's full name, she practically melted into a puddle of goo right there on the mall floor. "That was my mother's name," she said. It's kind of an old-fashioned name, and I'm guessing it's been a while since she'd run into someone who shared it. The granny was positively glowing as she opened her purse and handed me a fistfull of pennies. She insisted we take them and let the baby throw them in the fountain. <br /><br />As we tossed pennies and celebrated splashes, me with tears in my eyes, the old woman walked away with a faraway look in her eyes and an odd smile on her face. I hope it was a happy one.Sarah Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14674223065923494483noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11658913.post-1136259930573375192006-01-02T21:38:00.000-06:002006-01-02T21:45:30.586-06:00MMVIThere were no champagne toasts at our house at New Year's. There was just two tired parents, a sleeping baby and a whirring DVD player. Actually, I think I rang in 2006 about 3 feet from the spot where I rang in 2005. And while it wasn't one of my most exciting New Years Eves, it was definitely one of my favorites.<br /><br />Wishing you all heatlh, happiness and plenty of snark in '06.Sarah Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14674223065923494483noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11658913.post-1132633510673258372005-11-21T21:30:00.000-06:002005-11-21T22:25:10.686-06:001995I had my friend Allison pick me up that night. We had been looking forward to the party for a few weeks. It was the weekend before Thanksgiving, and between my new job and my classes, I was so swamped. I really needed to blow off some steam. It's not that I was planning on going home with a certain someone else, it's just that I was planning on getting drunk. Underaged, stressed out, college student drunk. There was no way I was driving home.<br /><br />Allison and I were among the first to arrive. Jax mixed us some of her trademark Crystal Light and vodka. My tongue turned bright orange as I sucked it down. The doorbell kept ringing and pretty soon the party was on. We drank, and laughed, and flirted mercilessly. We played strip Jenga. We stargazed from the third floor balcony, but damn, it was cold out there. <br /><br />Until it wasn't. Until it was so jam-packed and hot inside I just had to get out for some air. And this guy, the one with whom I had flirted mercilessly for the past month, followed me out. <br /><br />He was the kind of guy that was totally out of my league. He was tall, and slender, and tall, and he had great arms and a gorgeous smile. With dimples. His auburn hair had a just a hint of red lowlights. It was long -- longer than mine, and incredibly sexy. All those weeks of flirting, and I always assumed he saw me as a little sister type of kid; someone to tease, someone he found amusing. I figured he had a tall, leggy supermodel-type girlfriend at home. <br /><br />But he didn't.<br /><br />And we talked for a while, and laughed for a while, and I forgot about how cold it was on a November night in the upper Midwest. And suddenly he was kissing me. He had soft lips and warm hands, and I remember feeling so safe and content (and a little drunk. And a LOT surprised) wrapped up in him.<br /><br />Until the standing ovation started. Apparently we weren't as alone as we had thought; someone inside had opened the blinds and there we were, making out in front of all of our friends and a few strangers. Hello, embarassment.<br /><br />We decided to find a place where we could talk that was a little more private. Here's where the story diverges: There's what actually happened, what Canon says happened, and the urban legend that's been propagated by our friends for the last decade. Needless to say, I won't spoil the mystique here. I will say that I did not go home with Allison.<br /><br />To this day, I'm still a little bit amazed that that moment actually happened to me. And when I use that frame of mind to look at the life we've built in the ten years since that moment, I'm still amazed. The Best Dog In The World is curled up at my feet. The Co-Best Dog In The World is sleeping on Canon's lap. Our daughter is asleep in her room down the hall. And us? Here we sit, in the home that we've built together, still making each other laugh. <br /><br />And occassionally making each other roll our eyes and sigh, or scream, or cry, but it's so worth it. <br /><br />It's all been so worth it.Sarah Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14674223065923494483noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11658913.post-1130375454077810302005-10-26T20:09:00.000-05:002005-10-26T20:10:54.090-05:00...You can keep itI was just reading an article on Joan Didion, where she discussses her process of writing. She says, “I thought, ‘If I can write it down, I can keep it.’"<br /><br />That struck me like a lightning bolt. If you write it down, you can keep it.<br /> <br />But what if you don’t want to keep it? Because lately, I don’t want to ‘keep it’ at all. And I think that’s why I haven’t been writing. Maybe if I don’t talk about feeling lousy and lazy and uninspired, it will all just go away, vanish into the past, and I won’t ever have to confront it.<br /> <br />Confront what? you’re asking. Well, I’m not exactly sure. Anything and everything. Life. Work. Deciding what to wear, what to make for dinner. Some days it just feels so entirely overwhelming.<br /> <br />I wake up in the morning and force myself to find a reason to get out of bed. Maybe it’s indulging myself an extra long a hot shower. Or spending five minutes doing nothing but cuddling and scritching my dogs before I get dressed. Or maybe it’s because I know it’s a Gilmore Girls night. Thinking about the whole day ahead is too overwhelming.<br /> <br />I’m afraid of writing, in fact, and writing is my job. I can sit and type all day but all I read is garbelymumbo… is any meaning even coming through? I can’t believe people pay me to do this. I have to keep quiet about not knowing what I’m doing or someone will find out and then I’ll be screwed. And then what? I know how to pretend to be normal, but oh God, it's tiring. I don’t know what comes after you get exposed. <br /><br />And that's the scariest thing of all.Sarah Ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14674223065923494483noreply@blogger.com1