The New Neighbors

So last night, my biggest problem was that I took Em outside dressed only in a onesie, shoes and a hat, while the next-door-neighbor baby was bundled up in pants, socks pulled up to her knees, a dress, a jacket and a stocking cap. For close to a day, I was all paranoid that I was letting my baby freeze slowly in her stroller (ok, it was 71 degrees, but hey, all those layers really threw me off) while I enjoyed the fresh air.

Today we received a flyer, stuffed unceremoniously in the front door. We have new neighbors. Turns out they’re sex offenders.

Three men ranked as “moderate” sex offenders have moved into the apartments at the end of our street. I researched one of them (hey, working at a newspaper has its advantages. Not many, but some) and he was arrested for luring a 15-year-old girl through an online chatroom – a 15-year-old girl who was neither 15 nor a girl, but an undercover cop.

One other man is obviously not from around here. The mug shot on the state’s web site is seriously the shittiest photo I’ve ever seen. Seriously, I’ve seen nicer driver’s license photos. It’s so dark he’s a silhouette. Only the whites of his eyes show. Yeah, I’ll be on the lookout for THAT guy. Seriously, are these the best photo skills law enforcement has? No wonder they need CSIs to analyze crimes for them. Obviously their eyes (and their light meters) don’t work. Maybe I could get a job as a police photographer. I’m good with a pencil.

Ok, now that I’ve worked myself into a froth over that, the good news! Em is crawling!

It’s pretty hilarious. She flings herself from a sitting position onto her hands and one knee. Yep, she uses her left knee and her right foot, with her little butt sticking up in the air. She’s still a little slow and wobbly, but she’s determined. She’s also a lot more confident on her feet. She will walk five or six steps if she’s got my hands… still no creeping along the furniture, yet. She can stand unassisted for a few seconds now and she loves it. She’s constantly saying “Up! Up!” and reaching out to pull herself up on whatever she can find: empty laundry baskets, her activity table, the dogs, my pants, it’s all good.

She has mastered “So Big” and will patty-cake on demand. She is also an expert Bye-Bye Waver. Maybe it will get her a scholarship. Nursery school’s not cheap, you know. Especially considering how we will probably be pouring buckets of money into getting a new security system for the fortress house, you know – electric fence, moat, drawbridge. Just the basics. I don’t want to freak out and go overboard.