Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Funked Out

So, what’s it been, a month? Longer? *Sigh.* I was afraid blogging would turn into another responsibility for me, and so it has.

You’ll figure this out on your own, I’m sure, but I’m in a serious funk today. I don’t know why, really. There is no good reason. But for some reason, it seemed the right time to return to the blog.

A lot has happened in this month. I am full of stories. But they’re not coming out right, and I just get all frustrated about not having anything witty to say or not being able to thread certain events together into a cohesive story. So, I chose to duck and cover.

We had a nice vacation. It was stressful, because Em was a lot of work. She was pretty clingy and it was a lot of time in the car for her, so it was tough. She did great… probably as great as we could expect from a 10-month old. But I returned home tired and cranky and disheartened that there wasn’t a vacation to look forward to anymore.

And then came Advopalooza. A baby-free weekend with old friends that left me invigorated and content. And suddenly I figured it out; I need to take some time for myself. So now I have a new hobby, and I’m going to try to find a few hours a week to devote to it… and not worry about the work deadlines or the household chores.

Em’s birthday is roaring up. There’s so much I want to do before the party, but I have a feeling that most of it won’t happen. For some reason I can either be productive at work or productive at home, but doing both at once is more than I can handle. And work’s been a bitch lately.

So yeah. Tired, crabby and blue, that’s today’s theme. But tomorrow, that’s another day. Hopefully I’ll have a better story by then.


Krissy said...

I'm sorry the vacation was rough. Our 10 month old is also a handful at the moment, and I can echo your sentiments perfectly on the looming-first-birthday thing.

Don't discount the depression that might come from that, too. I know that I'm more wonked out by Charlie turning one than I am by my turning 30 ten days later.

The baby turning one is a rough thing.

I hope work eases up. Hang in there.

Krissy said...

You know, I've been thinking about you (ears burning?... or is that only when someone is talking about you?). Anyhow, I've been thinking about you and your blog.

I just wanted to let you know that I've been blogging for years, and the only way it really becomes a release rather than a burden is if you blog every day and don't sweat subject matter or content quality.

You can refine later, after you get used to posting, but at first just try to get into the habit. I've been blogging or posting somewhere every day for a million years, and it's made a great difference in my writing and in posting-as-catharsis.

Just keep going. It's like exercise (ugh) the more you do it, the easier and more fun it gets. It's getting off the ground that's the trick.

Anonymous said...

Boy do I know that feeling!! Hang in there, it will get better. Hobbies for yourself are an awesome way to reclaim some of your time - that's what I'm doing with my running and it's helping so much!