Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Stark and Magnificent

Stark? Yes. Magnificent? Well, not as much as I’d hoped. My New Year’s resolution was to blog more, and like most all of my past resolutions, this one died a quick death sometime in mid-January. Anyway, I saw that phrase describing something today. Stark and magnificent. And I liked it. Maybe I should change the name of my blog. Or maybe not. That’s a lot to live up to for someone who blogs 15 times a year.

When did they start putting symbols on candy hearts? That’s just so wrong. I want a candy heart, not a text message. Keep the Sweethearts vintage!

We had a great Valentine’s Day yesterday. A little romance in the morning, a little gourmet in the evening. Factor in the toddler that said “Hi, Grand-papa!” into the phone last night, and this adds up to the best Valentine’s Day I’ve ever had. I’ve won revenge over the holiday that used to torture me, and damn, it feels good. Oh, for the record, chef Canon made artichoke bruschetta, asparagus marinated in wine sauce and salmon with lemon and rosemary. Just for me! I have bookmarked this page for future reference and he’ll get a pass the next few times I’m mad at him. He’s earned it.

In other news, I’ve applied for a job that I really, really want. I promised myself that I wouldn’t tell anybody about it, but yeah, right. I just can’t keep my mouth shut when it comes to this stuff. It’d be a nice pay raise, but I’d do it for no raise. Really, the company has that great of a reputation. I’d flip to work there. I’d grovel to work there. I’d pull out a tooth to work there. I met with the recruiter, who loved my resume and cover letter, but it’s been 5 days now and I haven’t heard anything from the company, and my stomach is in knots. I’ve been taking sleeping pills for the last two nights. Me, the woman who can fall asleep on command. Last night I lay in bed, feeling drowsier and drowsier while my heart raced. It was eerie. Really, it’s dangerous to want something so much.

Because I’m a realist (Canon prefers the term “pessimist”) I’ve considered the worst-case scenario. There are lots of great things coming up at my job. We’re either remodeling or moving offices, (fingers crossed – Mama needs a window!). I’m involved in the development of a major new project. And I’ve got two smaller-term new projects to work on in the next few months. In two weeks I’ll celebrate my 7th anniversary there. I never thought THAT would happen. I’m comfortable there. I work with great people. And we’re getting a new director, which could be really great (or not, but now’s not the time, yadda, yadda). So, there is a lot to look forward to.

It’s still making me crazy. And it's completely draining.

So right now I feel stark, with the possibility of magnificent.


Alison said...

Realist does not equal pessimist (so says another realist :). Good luck on the job. I really hope you get it!

s. said...

"A little romance in the morning, a little gourmet in the evening."
sarah hot pants

Alison said...

Did you ever hear anything on the job? :)

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